Cleaning By the Pros

In an attempt to get at least some of the odors and stains left by our two dogs out of the carpet, I resorted to the good-ol’-fashioned googling to come up with some sort of way to make our carpet “so fresh and so clean.”

Gathering from many sources I’ve since forgotten, I have come up with quite the list, including methods for removing the stench of cigarette smoke — a task many of us know and “love” so well.

Note #1: If I say “vinegar” I mean “white vinegar.” Baking soda from hereon refers to sodium bicarbonate. Vodka means only clear, unflavored vodka. Salt is more than likely whatever form of table salt you have lying around.

Note #2: For any of these methods, it is advisable to test in a small, not-visible area of your home. If any adverse reaction should occur, it is a lot better for it to happen in the corner than on every square inch of your home.

On Carpet

Pee stains from (presumably) your pets? Smells horridly like smoke?

The methods include:

• Sprinkle some baking soda all over the offensive-smelling area. I also saw this used for upholstery like couches and chairs. Let it sit for up to 24 hours, and ideally, no shorter than at least a few hours. Good idea to do this before you sleep or go to work, then vacuum it up later.
• On your carpet: If your fireplace has spilled soot onto your carpet, you may also toss the salt onto your carpet, and then vacuum the area later, after maybe an hour.
• Salt, coincidentally, is also useful for soaking up odors from your carpet, just like baking soda. I assume a mixture of both would be effective as well.

Cleaning Your Walls

No, those white sparkling walls won’t always be so shiny with a smoker in the house. Not to worry, you can fix that “easily”:

• A solution I found was one part vinegar to four-to-eight parts water, with a scoop of baking soda poured in. However, I recall in chemistry learning that a base (baking soda) reacting with an acid (vinegar) produces CO2, water, and salt. Thus, I wonder if this solution is actually equivalent to salt water, with maybe a little vinegar or baking soda left. Either way, put this into a spray bottle and then scrub the walls with a sponge.
• Should it be about time to move and your walls are covered with holes, a plaster made of two tablespoons salt and two tablespoons corn starch with enough water (about five teaspoons) to make a very thick paste should do the trick. Simply fill in the hole, let it dry, possibly sand down and rough bits, and paint over it. This should be more effective than the “toothpaste” method, as toothpaste has a habit of “bleeding” out through new layers of paint.

Cleaning Your Chimney

Methods:

• While your fireplace is going at it keeping your house warm, you can occasionally toss in a handful of salt. It helps to loosen up some of the soot in your chimney, and also makes a dazzling yellow flame.

Got odor in the air?

Plenty of things had entries for sucking odor out of the air.

All these things left out overnight, or up to a week, had the claimed effect of removing bad odors:

• A bag of charcoal left open.
• A bowl filled with vinegar left sitting out, uncovered.
• A bowl of citrus peelings.
• Coffee grounds wrapped up in coffee filters, tied, and left sitting around on something (Note: Coffee stains, so be sure the ground do not get wet or come into contact with whatever you’re deodorizing. I think leaving them in a filter should work fine, but you may also desire to put that into a bowl or on a piece of plastic wrap).

There exist a couple preventative measures on cigarette smoke. To help keep the offensive odor from returning, get a deep ash tray and pour a good amount of baking soda into the bottom. Use this pit to extinguish your cigarettes, and be sure to keep them under as much as possible. Additionally, the baking soda will help to suck some of the remaining odor from the air.

Be sure to wash your ashtrays very frequently (i.e., maybe nightly). Keep air circulating, being sure to open your windows and doors as often as possible. Another method is to smoke in front of a window fan which is set to move the smoke outside. So long as your smoke doesn’t have time to sit inside, the odor shouldn’t become so unbearable so quickly.

Now, some of these sound a little strange, and I haven’t tested most of them, save the carpet ones (we lack a fireplace, and our walls should be fine… for a while).

However, I can vouch for using salt and baking soda to help with pet stains. I wiped up as much moisture I could with some old rags, sprayed off-brand glass cleaner on the spots, used a very small amount of liquid dish soap in a lot of water and sprinkled it on the area, scrubbed until I thought my knuckles were going to fall off, then patted down the area to get most of the wetness out, poured more fresh water onto the area, patted it down again, making sure at least most of the soap was out (I know, it was kind of a stupid choice, but it had citrus in it as well — too tempting) and sprinkled salt and baking soda on the area. Twenty hours or so later, I woke up, and while the area isn’t exactly beautiful, it is dry, a lot less yellow, and it smells absolutely amazing. I plan to do this again the next time my parents are in town, when I’ll have the opportunity to vacuum.

As you can guess, there are many, many more ways to do things. In the planning is a part two for how to clean common bathroom fixtures using cheaper household items than, say, 409.