Wedding Rings: Choosing a Metal

It’s a choice we all have to make before we marry. While not quite as in-your-face as, “Where should neurotic Aunt Betty sit?” the metal of your ring is still a pretty big decision, as it affects not the wedding day, but every day after, along with any choices you make of future jewelry. Thus, here are some things to consider.

Yellow Gold: The old favorite

Yellow gold has endured over the years as a popular choice of metal for both mens’ wedding bands and women’s diamond wedding rings. However, it is diminishing in popularity as more choices become available.

Yellow gold says “tradition” without speaking any words. At times, it can even scream.

Depending on how you feel about the color and its collision with your jewel of choice, this old-time favorite passed down through the years can continue its work.

Why you should choose it: If you don’t want to fret about other metals, yellow gold is a solid, reliable choice.

Sterling Silver: The new contender

Sterling silver, while not particularly popular in wedding jewelry, is still a beautiful metal. It’s relatively cheap, but requires a bit of maintenance to keep it from tarnishing.

Why you should choose it: It’s low-cost, but high-maintenance. If you like the color, consider white gold.

White Gold: A solid alternative

White gold has come into great popularity over the last decade or so, with roots from even longer before. It has a great, clean color compared to yellow gold, and it compliments other jewelry very well, from silver, and even to things such as obsidian.

Almost nothing screams “high-class” as much as a white gold ring speckles with diamonds.

Why you should choose it: It is a great choice if you like silver, but want something less high-maintenance, as gold never tarnishes. Also, few people (if any) have an allergy to gold, and at times, silver will react poorly with a person’s skin, particularly if they have a particularly acidic diet, leaving the green ring of shame most people associate with cheap, knock-off jewelry.

Black Gold: A new favorite

No, I’m not talking about coal or oil. Black gold is a relatively new variety of gold. Black gold, as told to me by a “reliable resource (i.e., my mother)” is “growing in popularity in Colorado.” While I haven’t been to Colorado in about ten years (though I’ll be there in roughly half a month), I can see why.

However, there are some problems with black gold, along with its brothers, blue and even purple gold. They’re not as strong as regular yellow gold, and tend to wear easily. In fact, it’s plausible a sharp blow to these alternatives could shatter your ring. Additionally, these colors tend to carry a higher price, as it is far more expensive to make a single piece. If you can get a ring from a batch they’ve made, or from a jewelry retailer specializing in black gold, it may be cheaper.

Even more, these colors tend to tarnish much more easily than the other varieties of gold, and getting them treated could be expensive and difficult, as they’re less common.

Why you should choose it: If you want a truly unique color, black gold, or blue or violet gold, is a fabulous, beautiful choice. There are some considerations, however, to take first.

Platinum: Our final contender

No, no. I know: It’s incredibly expensive, and it looks more-or-less like white gold. So what? Platinum has always been a very high-ranked favorite, and I can understand why.

Why you should choose it: It’s platinum! One of my favorite metals. Now if only I could afford it…

In conclusion, there are other choices typical for men, such as titanium, which is an excellent choice if you worry about your hubby being particularly accident-prone, as it’s the strongest metal available for rings, while still being beautiful. Whether you choose the standard yellow or the fabulous violet gold, realize you’re going to have this choice (ideally) for the rest of your life, so don’t make a choice because everybody else likes it. I, personally, am pushing for black gold.

Have fun picking out your ring, and enjoy the chance to try on everything in the store to see how it looks on your manicured finger. In the works is an article about alternative choices to the standard diamond. Dare we venture into amethyst? We do.

A Penny for Your Registry

So, it’s the month before you do, you’ve crossed most of the important things of your list, you’ve bought the rings, set up the venue, and now you’re preparing your final vows. Registry? Oh, that’s already done. We just signed up for the newlywed registry at all the major department stores.

There’s one alternative you might just want to consider, though: How about charity?

A slowly-but-surely rising trend for wedding couples is making itself apparent in their registries. I suppose another salad spinner or a pair of sterling silver tongs would make a lovely addition to your MacGuyver of the kitchen armada of utensils, but think about it for a moment. Do you really need this?

At the risk of making a faux pas by just asking for people to write a check to offset the cost of your wedding, try another idea on for size: Why not have them make a donation to a charity?

There are plenty of ways to go about this. They can pick the charity and make it in your name, you can pick the charity and make the donations in their own names, you can have them offer anything into a pot and you just sign it over to Curing Muscular Dystrophy, or anything else your pretty little tiara-laiden head can imagine. The possibilities are endless.

Brainstorming this article, I’ve come up with a couple different charities that may make pretty excellent ideas:

• For the gay couple: Some options would include the Human Rights Campaign or Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, but another option, should you marry in a church, would be a donation directly to the church, such as Metropolitan Community Churches, a network of churches that accept gay members and hold same-sex unions.
• For the green couple: Well, there are plenty of charities for this, such as Greenpeace, PETA, or the ASPCA.
• For the couple who support: [pick your disease]. From autism to cystic fibrosis, there are thousands upon thousands of charities working to help improve the quality of life of children all over the world suffering from genetic disorders.

Additional options are donating money to sponsor a child in a third-world country, or pledging money to somebody running a marathon to help raise money for something like a local high school’s band program. Maybe you could offer it to a scholarship program, or even just give it directly to somebody in need that you know.

Avoiding the "Wedding Tax"

Anybody planning a wedding and handling venue booking knows about the sales representatives who are out to make a pretty penny. Chances are, your wedding quote is well over what you expect to (and should!) pay for your location. There are, however, ways to deal with these not-so-altruist location venues.

The easiest way to cut costs and avoid paying the “wedding tax” is to simply tell the venue you’re looking to book a location for a “family gathering” or something along those lines. Absolutely do not ever say the word “wedding” when speaking with them. They will overcharge you. For clarification, have your partner get a quote for a wedding, and then call to get a quote for a family gathering. Chances are, your price is going to be a lot lower.

So, loyal readers, what are your tips on avoiding the wedding tax?

Is DIY Wedding Planning Right for You?

Something within many of us tells us that we need to save money. “No, let’s get the cheap ice cream; it’s two dollars a gallon and the other one is five.” Even better, some of us make our own ice cream, shelving, cord organizers… Nearly anything available commercially has a do-it-yourself alternative for lower cost. However, is it really a good idea for you to plan your own wedding?

Here are a couple things you should consider before deciding to plan it yourself:

• Is it really cheaper? Planning takes time – you could spend hours every day and still not cover every area you should. Are you going to be spending a lot of time planning, when you could just hire a planner to do it for you, ultimately saving money by being available to work for longer times? Additionally, you will be tempted to purchase software and premium services online. While this can be cheaper, still, than using a planner, you’re still losing the time. Is it worth it?
• Do you have the patience? Planning also takes patience – things go wrong, people don’t show up, guest lists take fifty edits to get within a margin of error to still be considered optimal. Do you have the patience to call twenty locations to find the ideal venue, only to end up throwing out every last one of them when you call another ten locations the next day?
• Do you have the organizational skills? This is the area where most people falter. Planning takes a great organizational system that goes through much revision before it can be employed. Planners do this for a living, so you can bet they have a good system established… but do you?
• Do you have the creativity? Your partner is likely to reject nine ideas for every ten you throw out there. You need to be a well of ideas that will never run dry, so when he or she hates every flower you’ve suggested, you can still recommend tiger lilies.
• Do you have the craft skills? If you’re going the DIY route for planning, chances are, you’re taking on a lot more DIY tasks. For example, I opted to plan my own wedding due to costs, and I had to make a choice: Two two-hundred-dollar bouquets, one for me, one for the maid of honor, or 200 two-dollar bouquets made of paper, rather than real flowers, or even commercially-bought fake flowers. I opted with the cheap paper flowers. I’m still waiting around for the weekend when all my friends come with reams of paper and help me create 200 bouquets.
• Are you willing to make sacrifices? You may not have the time and ability to do everything to make your wedding day the one you dreamed about when you were in diapers. You may have to cut some corners: A three-layer cake instead of ten; thirty guests instead of 200; a local Chinese food catering instead of a gourmet service located a hundred miles away. If you can’t sacrifice these things, then planning your own wedding is not for you.
• Finally, do you have help? Nobody can do this on his or her own. Everybody needs help sometimes. Do you have creative friends who can recommend ideas? An artistic friend who can help design your invitations? A team of craftspeople who will help you create the DIY bouquets? If you don’t, you definitely need to reconsider planning your own wedding.

DIY wedding planning is very fulfilling – imagine seeing your dreams come true and knowing you did it all without professional help – but it is important to know what you are taking on, preferably before you’ve been going at it for a year when your big day is two weeks away.